Inertia in action

Having seen a number of heavy films, I opted to watch a straightforward action vehicle starring one of the few action heroes I can tolerate as a means of compensating for the mental atomisation that the other films had incurred. Although I subscribe to Ebert’s dictum that a good movie can never be depressing, overdosing on such films do exert a toll, often manifesting, at least for me, in a strange feeling of mental fatigue. With this motivation I justified watching Olivier Megaton’s (!) “The Transporter 3”, featuring Jason Statham as franchise protagonist and Audi aficionado Frank Martin.

This time, Martin is forced into transporting precious cargo by an American villain (Robert Knepper) intent on forcing a Russian politician to sign a document that will result in great financial benefit to certain people and certain ecological doom for others.

“The Transporter 3” is easily the worst Besson-scripted film I’ve yet seen. From the opening sequence which is later nearly forgotten by the film to the men on the boat catching fish to the bizarre and embarrassing love story between Martin and his travelling companion (who is also a stunningly bad actress), the film has plot holes large enough to double flip a black Audi on the back of a speeding train through.

Halfway through the film I reflected on the possibility that the action sequences should be interesting enough to keep my interest from waning, but no – like many other action films in the post-“Bourne” era, “T3” also shows us fistfights where you’re never quite sure who’s doing what to whom. You see an arm extending, a leg flailing; yet, you seldom seem to witness actual contact, or to hear bones crack.

This is a low for Statham (keep in mind I have not seen his turn in Boll’s “In the Name of the King”, which I intend to watch as part of a 'suicide combo' paired with “Dragonball: Evolution” and “Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li” towards the end of the year) who does his best to do his macho man-thing but an actor is only as strong his material, and Statham has barely anything to stand on. I could go on and on discussing the numerous glaring flaws in this film – and here I don’t even omment on the physics of the Bessoniverse – but I can’t see why. No-one will remember this Eurotrash action rubbish by 2010, if they haven’t already forgotten it. Hopefully Statham, who really deserves better, gets a gig for Guy Ritchie soon. From what I've heard, "Crank 2: High Voltage" isn't much of a step up (and, for the record, I despised the first "Crank").

Also, here’s hoping Besson, who hasn’t directed anything noteworthy in a decade and released his best film a whole 15 years ago, moves on to interior design. He may be a profitable French export, but his movies are terrible.